sunofabeach

yangthesun @ 2010-03-08T04:10:00

2010-03-07T20:10:22Z

Afterall , I'm glad that you called .

yangthesun @ 2010-03-03T04:07:00

2010-03-02T20:07:35Z

At times , I'm so full of myself .
I should change .

yangthesun @ 2010-03-02T05:23:00

2010-03-01T21:23:41Z

Have been thinking . What is it that's worth it all .

yangthesun @ 2010-02-20T04:19:00

2010-02-19T20:19:24Z

I do get tired of going to your facebook profile everyday just to see how are you doing . The thing is I can't stop myself from doing that . I gave my word not to mention anything about you on facebook and my journal but sometimes it's not easy , at all . But that is not all , when will I ever stop all this . I wondered too .
But thank God you didn't know my journal's link . Just that , I'm really very glad .

yangthesun @ 2010-02-07T00:49:00

2010-02-06T16:49:15Z

I did try to control my emotions .
But why do I always get distracted .
It's like going offline , losing all the connection from the people , the world .
And I lived in my world again , ya the world that I never manage to abandon .
I understand it's never easy , but I just can't do it .
Why ? I wondered too .
It's so hard .
I'm losing myself soon .

yangthesun @ 2010-02-01T01:53:00

2010-01-31T17:53:20Z

Suddenly , I felt lost .

yangthesun @ 2010-01-31T05:13:00

2010-01-30T21:13:08Z

I was young but I wasn't naive.

" Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go "

(U)

yangthesun @ 2010-01-30T03:58:00

2010-01-29T19:58:11Z

Sometimes I wonder
Why would I always feel at ease whenever I looked at you.
You're amazing you know .

yangthesun @ 2010-01-26T23:19:00

2010-01-26T15:19:32Z

Thanks God he made it.
Thanks God; I made it.

yangthesun @ 2010-01-09T05:52:00

2010-01-08T21:52:18Z

Sometimes I cry when I feel "used" , but not really in that sense. It's just that everyone is dependent on one another and I'm one of them. It's just like if you fall , I will definitely reach out my hand to you . But I just wonder why do I always feel that neglectness there(if there's such a word). I feel like there's something missing, something which I deserved, a chance maybe? I don't know. Is it about gratitude, appreciation or whatever that can be fit into the description. It's just that it's pointless no matter how hard one try , but at the same time I believe in success , I believe if you try hard enough , you will somehow reach the sky one day. But seriously speaking , I had all the chances and opportunities to do the things I want , actually, almost everything regardless of going against anyone ( my parents I think) Being defiant. But do I always feel this way, things that I actually I want to go for , FAIL. I let down my parents, my friends. The one I feel sorry for is myself , I let my life just go wasted. There are times I really wanted to go for it , everything else , for everyone , but I always fall at the last step. Just that last one ; till I reach the top. Life is hard after all , born to lead a path that has already been planned beforehand. Everything is destined to be. If I was more hardworking person , I might be someone better. If I was a more thoughtful person ,i might be able to solve everyone's problem and understand what they want in life. If I was you , I wouldn't hurt (you) .

yangthesun @ 2009-12-13T20:29:00

2009-12-13T12:29:45Z

I hate it when your parents's problems become yours. And you have to start to WORRY for it, like lame only? Aren't they supposed to be the ones taking care of us and the responsibilities of not letting us worry for the future. I find it so frustrating and its like a family is a burden when it IS SUPPOSED to be "they" will be there for you when you have troubles. But it looks like im the one who is doing all the things and listening to all the nags. What a letdown.

yangthesun @ 2009-12-06T22:46:00

2009-12-06T14:46:37Z

Sometimes I wonder what am I to you. But it's rather frustrating , because I knew what I am to you. I know you treat me as a friend , it's just that I'm not used to it when I went "missing" . I feel weird whenever you told me random things on facebook and asking me for favours or help. I don't mind , but the thing is how am I supposed to go about it. I'm trying my best to leave your network connection but why does it always have to be "us" out of everyone else to bump into each other . Hai , I think I' m weird , it just takes time for me to get used to it.

One thing I was upset about ..
At that time, my mood straight away change when you gave me that "face". I turned and walked away .
I won't deny the fact that I was looking around for you when "we(you and calvin, my friends and I)" are in the same club. And I knew you saw me , just a few feets away. Nice (Y). But I'm glad that I wasn't distracted , I think? I kept on dancing and enjoying with my friends, but ya once again I admitted that I stole a few glances at you, lol.

But ya , I'm glad I enjoyed . Thanks everyone (:
The End.

yangthesun @ 2009-12-02T01:33:00

2009-12-01T17:33:30Z

Everytime when I come to think of it, I really hate those moments.
I hate those hard times which I had been through.
But what more can I do.
I never wanted to give up , yet I did , for almost every single thing in my life which I tried hard for.
Making decisions in life is never simple.But, I will win this time.

I just hope everything will be fine, just like what I always wished for.

yangthesun @ 2009-11-25T23:52:00

2009-11-25T15:52:30Z

kind of getting tired of going to your fb profile and see how you are doing.
I thought i was over you , aren't i ? But it feels like my heart is still there , with you.
Can I have it back .. ?

yangthesun @ 2009-11-21T01:24:00

2009-11-20T17:24:22Z

How i wish i can do something to make me feel better , from all the problems i caused and feelings i had .

yangthesun @ 2009-11-14T04:46:00

2009-11-13T20:46:43Z

Something's missing in my life.
Neither did i blame you nor anyone else .
This is my life , I write my own story , I write my own future .
It's just that it's pretty upset when you commented on my status , which is referring to you . But you didn't realized it.
It's saddening.
But I just hope you are doing fine (:
Nothing much , I hoped .

yangthesun @ 2009-11-11T01:47:00

2009-11-10T17:50:19Z

I'm sorry to B & R .
I will learn to control my emotions .
This is the least I can do .
But that's not the best I can do .
.
(: !

yangthesun @ 2009-11-10T01:58:00

2009-11-09T18:06:20Z

2.4 run was tired . Stamina dropped , speed dropped . 13.15min ? it's like so disappointing -_-
It just sucks . haha
But i felt great even though it was damn tiring .
At least now i know how weak i am .
Looking at the changes that took place drastically .
Guess i will hold on to that smile , for now .

I can lose to anyone , but not to myself .

yangthesun @ 2009-11-03T00:28:00

2009-11-02T17:07:26Z

I told you I will be a friend who will be there for you , and ask for nothing in return. but why do I always feel neglected , why is this so ? sometimes I wonder what exactly are u thinking about , stress over about . I mean I do understand certain things but perhaps for just that one particular thing I can't figure out.
Sigh ..
And of course i will know what happen at Rebel , you were just standing beside me man .
It hurts so much to see you in that kind of situation and that , you were just in front of my eyes. And when I saw that expression on your face , my heart skipped a beat , I'm helpless and sorry .
I don't know what else can I say , but
God bless you .
*

What hurts the most was being so close .

yangthesun @ 2009-10-20T23:44:00

2009-10-20T16:10:09Z

Went mia , lost contact with you for months. But recently , I seem to keep bumping into you .
And I wonder why would I always think of you when I'm at Cathay . I was at Cathay today with my friends. When I was about to leave for the bustop, as I walked , I was thinking "what if I see you here, at cathay . And just when I reached the bustop, I saw you , with Calvin . You waved at me , I didn't know how to react , only after like a couple of seconds , I gave a weak wave back . I guess it's been quite some time I felt this way , being in the same bus when you are just standing one seat beside me and me controlling myself not to look at you and blasting music trying to keep my mind off you . That bus ride home was the longest journey ever .
When I alight , you tapped my bag and said byebye , perhaps I could have said something more pleasant . But I didn't , I said bye without even turning and take a look at you ..
I make my way home , we were a street apart, I turned back and look at you , wondering what was happening when both of you stopped and was talking ? , I guessed. And then both of you started to walk again . Zzz ? I remembered I looked back thrice. At that moment , I just hoped nothing happened .
Sometimes I wonder why am I always thinking of such things . This could have brought me down ..way in too deep ..
I know you will never get to see this , haa of course you won't , I didn't even give you my link . On second thoughts , I would put it this way , I would rather not ever let you know my diary .

But ya , I just wanted to apologise if I happened to come in between the both of you and causing arguments and stuffs. I'm sorry ..
I still remembered the day we were at Cathay ..

yangthesun @ 2009-10-17T00:24:00

2009-10-16T16:28:46Z

Happy birthday to my brother , xiaoyuan (: Well done in your studies .
Happy birthday to you , peishan .

Everything's been fine I guess.
Busy with work , school and hanging out . *CLUB* ZZZ
Dont think will have any much time on other things , i HOPE .
perhaps .
maybe only .
you know u wont get to see this . but i hope u are doing fine . takecare ,

yangthesun @ 2009-10-15T22:51:00

2009-10-15T14:53:31Z

My dad is jobless.
The world is crying.
Im aimless.
What more can I do now.

yangthesun @ 2009-10-10T01:07:00

2009-10-09T17:09:06Z

Im really sry my dearest friends that i kinda spread my flu to you all . getwellsoon all of you ! And we will work hard against all obstacles and soar into the sky !!

yangthesun @ 2009-10-08T23:41:00

2009-10-08T16:07:19Z

Everything looks so different now
perhaps everything is still the same , im the difference .
how can i soar when i havent even figure out what i want .
Time awaits no man .
what am i supposed to do , now .

yangthesun @ 2009-09-22T23:31:00

2009-09-22T15:47:23Z

"I meant well" that's what everybody carry in their mouth . Never forgot one sia , " I meant well , dont worry " _|_ sometimes seriously cannot take it sia . ahyuan , you are doing it the wrong way . aiya how should i say it fuck sia . there's no right and wrong , but if u understand me , that's enough . For people like me , this way's not gonna work . you only make me much more feel like taking a hammer and smash all the glass windows that is use to create esplanade . Yes , I understand im a christian . im baptizED . But am i that bad ? you havent seen the worse. Oh no , you have seen the worst i think . that's what most of the people tell themselves so that will give them the confidence to convince others. -_- i know what im doing . so what if i have done something wrong . so what if im stubborn . so we must all change ah ? for the better ? fuck , what can be better . things are always going like after 1pm is 2pm . it's just the same what . can , sure do things can get better "if i want it to be , if only im willing " quoting from dont know where , heard it everywhere . im not doing good meh ? everytime ask me where's my money , how come use up so fast. you want to know why fast ? im not telling you . i worked so that i know if there's an emergency , i would have that spare cash. i worked so that i dont have to take extra allowance. i worked so that i dont rot at home . but seriously speaking , im happy when i work , the sense of satisfaction is there. actually my sister aint that bad . she's doing fine to me . what's with the fuss . wa fuck sia serious at times . feel like throwing everything down my house . I understand God is our saviour . Never ending love from him . God love us .
what's next ?
But yet , still i must salute you to this ahyuan. You've got the courage , you are brave and confident to start a conversation like this .